


Forbidden From Loving You

by Digi9797



Series: Persona Rarepair Week 2020 [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crushes, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Hanahaki Disease, Love Confessions, Secret Crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:07:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27697372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Digi9797/pseuds/Digi9797
Summary: After an encounter with a fan it is revealed to Akira that his friend, and crush, Hifumi has a ban on dating thanks to her mother, his body begins to act oddly upon learning this...
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Togo Hifumi
Series: Persona Rarepair Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2025598
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Petals

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fandom event!!! I'm really happy this didn't end up like my other attempts to do stuff like this and I'm really happy with how this fic turned out so I really hope you enjoy it!!!!
> 
> Prompt 1 - ~~Roleswap~~ | **Hanahaki Disease**

After letting Morgana out of his bag to let him go on a walk Akira took a deep breath and pushed one of the heavy wooden doors open and walked inside, he looked around and saw his friend, Hifumi Togo, sitting in one of the front pews as usual.

He walked down the row and stood in front of her, “Hello Hifumi.”

Silence.

“Uhhh Hifumi?”

The girl continued to stare at the shogi board in front of her, focused on whatever in strategy she was developing.

Akira cleared his throat to get her attention causing her to jump and finally turn her attention to him, “Hello Hifumi.”

“Oh! Hello Akira-kun, I didn’t see you.”

“It’s alright, developing a new strategy?” said the black-haired boy as he glanced at her shogi board.

“Ah, yes I am.”

“Need my help testing it out?” he said knowing the answer.

“Of course.” she said with a small smile which made Akira’s heart skip a beat.

Without a word Akira sat down, setting his bag down beside him and they began to play.

Minutes went by and the game went how it usually goes, Hifumi falling into her habit that Akira personally found adorable, Akira getting confused about how to play while Hifumi helped teach him, and then last but not least Hifumi winning.

“Check!” Hifumi exclaimed as she slammed the shogi piece down onto the wooden board.

Akira let out a fake exasperated sigh, “The Queen of the of the Togo Kingdom wins yet again.”

Hifumi’s cheeks turned pink, “Yes, yes I have.”

“I still have a long way to go, huh?”

“Yes, but you’ve improved quite I lot.”

“Really? Good to know.”

As they were talking, they heard footsteps approach them, they looked up to find a nervous looking young man standing before them.

“U-Um you’re Hifumi-chan right?”

Hifumi sighed already knowing what he wanted, “Yes...I am.”

“C-Can I shake your hand?”

Without a word Hifumi stood up from the pew and firmly but quickly shook the man's hand.

“Thank you so much! I’ll never wash my hand again!!”

“Um you’re welcome but...please wash it.”

“I can’t believe you’re really here in a church of all places!” the man said ignoring Hifumi’s request, Akira tried his hardest to hide his look of disgust, “Oh! I saw this rumor online that you pray to God before your games for victory, is that true?”

“No.”

“Can I take a selfie with you and post it online?”

“I’m sorry but I’ve been turning down all such requests.”

“I see...” the man said with disappointment in his voice, “Uh can I ask one more thing before I go?”

Hifumi sigh, “Yes...”

“Are you dating anyone?”

Both Hifumi and Akira’s eyes widened and Akira used all of his willpower to not to jump from his seat.

“N-No I’m not and I’m interested in doing so.”

“Ah....I see...well have a good day then.” the man waved as he walked away and out of the church.

Hifumi sat back down in her seat and sighed yet again.

“You alright?” asked Akira concerned, trying his best to not let his annoyance with the man show.

“Yes, it’s just dealing with fans like that is...exhausting.”

“I bet.”

Hifumi giggled, “You know at first I though you were one of them.”

“Me? Really?”

“Yes, but I soon realized I was mistaken, I’m sorry for being so rude to you at first.”

“It’s alright, understand.” Akira said as he gave her a reassuring smile which she returned.

“I can’t believe he asked me if I was dating anyone though.” said Hifumi, her exhausted expression returning.

“Yeah that was out of nowhere, you think he had ulterior motives?”

“I’m sure he did.” Hifumi sighed, “I’m not even allowed to date anyone though.”

Akira felt his heart stop, “H-Huh?”

“Oh, did I not mention it? My mother has banned me from dating, most likely due to my growing stats as an idol.”

Akira felt his body grow cold, “O-Oh! I see....I-I see...” he felt a strange feeling grow inside his chest, it was painful but he couldn’t bring himself to scream, he gripped his legs tightly as his ears began to ring.

“Are you alright Akira-kun?”

He couldn’t hear her but he could see the concern on her face and for some reason it only made his chest hurt more as he began to cough uncontrollably.

“A-Akira-kun?!” Hifumi placed a hand on his shoulder and he felt a wave of pain shoot through him, the spot where she placed her hand burned, and he felt like crying.

He covered his mouth and jolted up from his seat, grabbing his bag as he got up, “I-I’m sorry I-I gotta go, I g-gotta-” he tried to speak but the coughs that erupted from his aching throat continued to interrupt him.

“Are you sure you should go on your own? Should I call-”

“N-No! I-I’m fine I just....I-I j-just gotta...” he tried to speak, but the pain was too much and Hifumi’s concern made it burn, he had tears in his eyes that he tried to hide with his bangs as he ran down the row and out of the church, trying his hardest to ignore the cries from Hifumi that came from behind him.

He ran down a few blocks until his lungs and legs felt like collapsing, he leaned his back against an ally wall and slid down to the ground trying to catch his breath but each inhale only made his throat feel worse until he felt something begin to raise within it, it scratched at his throat and made him want to claw it open as tears began to stream down his face.

He cupped one of his hands around his mouth as he hacked into it, pain shooting though his body and once it had subsided he lowered his hand, holding whatever had come out inside.

He took deep breaths and without moving his head he peeked down and nervously opened his shaking hand.

And in it laid some flower petals.

“W-What...”

Due to his florist job he knew the flowers the petals came from and their meanings.

They were the petals of Forget-me-nots and Yellow Tulips.

Akira let out a shaky breath he had been holding in, “F-Fuck...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who don't know Japanese flower language Forget-me-nots mean "True Love" and Yellow Tulips mean "One-Sided Love"


	2. Worth The Risk Of Dying

Akira laid in his bed, the morning sun pouring through his window as he could feel a light pain that made its home in his chest a few months ago fade in and out.

“Are you alright?” called a boyish voice from across the room.

Akira lifted his head up to find Morgana laying on the old couch on the other side of his room, “I’m fine.” he said as he flopped his head back onto his pillow.

“Are you sure? For a few months now there have been times where you’ve seemed kind of out of it...”

“And let me guess, now is one of those times?” Akira asked passive aggressively.

“Yes.” Morgana answered sternly, seemingly picking up on Akira’s rude tone, “You know you can tell me what’s wrong, right?” he continued in a more calm tone.

Akira rolled on to his side where his back was facing Morgana, “.....I’ve just....been thinking about too much lately...”

“Like what?”

“It’s not important...”

“If it’s been bothering you for so long then it is important.” Morgana reassured, “You don’t have to tell me in detail but please talk to me.”

“......It’s just.....something that happened a long time ago and....a certain mission...”

“What happened?”

Akira’s mind flashed back to months ago to when he first found himself spitting up flower petals and the event that caused it, thinking about it made the pain in his chest rise, he sat up and began to try to hold back incoming violent coughs.

“Are you ok?!” Morgana exclaimed in concern as he scrambled to his feet on the couch.

“Y-Yeah I’m f-fine!” he said between coughs.

Morgana looked at him with worry as the black-haired boy pounded on his chest, the pain within it building and then fading away as quickly as it came with one final cough into his hand that he imminently clenched to hide what it contained.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Morgana asked with worry in his voice.

Akira peeked inside his fist and stared at the petals that laid inside, “....Yeah...” he closed his fist and continued,   
“.....I don’t wanna talk about it....what happened a long time ago I mean...”

“....O-Ok...” Morgana said dejected, “....Then what about the mission you mentioned? Which one is it?”

“....Mitsuyo Togo...” he said in a low voice as he ignored the ping of pain in his heart he felt from speaking that last name.

“....Oh...why that one? It involved the mom of a friend of yours right?”

“Yeah, a....f-friend...”

“Are you worried for her?”

“Y-Yeah it’s just.....I don’t know I’m glad we changed her heart but....I don’t know if some things will change or not...”

“She told you about the change of heart right? If she’s ok with talking about it why don’t you ask her?”

“......” Akira let out a deep breath, “You’re right, I just....don’t know when I should ask...”

Suddenly Akira’s phone went off causing the two to jump, Akira sat up and reached for his phone and upon seeing the notification he felt a sting in his heart.

The look on his face must have outed him as Morgana spoke up, “Is that her?”

“....Yeah...”

“Are you going to respond?”

Without a word, Akira opened his phone and began to read the message to himself.

 **[Hifumi]:** I know this is sudden but there is a shogi match I’m going to be attending tonight and now that the truth about my matches being rigged has come out I doubt I will be welcomed, would you mind accompanying me for support?

Ignoring the pings of pain in his heart he glanced at Morgana who gave him a reassuring look, Akira took a deep breath.

 **[Akira]:** Of course! Just tell me where it’s at and I’ll be there.

 **[Hifumi]:** Thank you, I’ll send you the address right away.

Akira dropped his phone in his lap, buried his face in his hands, and let out a deep sigh.

“You’re doing the right thing Akira.” Morgana tried to reassure him.

‘Yeah but I’m pretty sure this could actually get me killed...’ was all he could think.

Night fell and Akira arrived at the venue the match would be held in, no one who came to watch was allowed to enter the room where the match was held so he sat in the lobby and looked down on his phone, watching the match on a livestream while tapping his foot in anxious anticipation as Hifumi hesitantly moved her shogi pieces across the wooden board.

Even though she was in the other room, it felt like she was a world away, his heart thrashing in his chest as his eyes flickered towards her side of the battlefield she played on as she tried her best to protect the kingdom in her head.

His hands were clammy, and he swore there was something in the back of his throat as he felt the threat of another violent coughing fit coming, his mind filled with anxiety and anger as the commentator kept apologetically bad-mouthing Hifumi.

“...I concede.” said Hifumi as Akira’s heart sank a little more.

A few minutes later Hifumi entered the lobby and took a seat near Akira.

“...I was utterly destroyed out there.”

“Y-Yeah that was....not great...” replied Akira his voice somewhat low.

“It was as if an ant had challenged an elephant, a shogi player should know her limits.” Hifumi brushed some hair out of her face, “That was the first time I have ever forfeited a match...”

“....”

“I was so ashamed of myself, I didn’t want to hurt the pieces any longer...”

Akira could feel the pain in his chest rising as he watched the girl he loved beat herself up, “...A very queenly decision.” he said in an attempt to cheer her up.

“You remembered!” Hifumi said with a bright smile that filled Akira with a mix of emotions.

“Of course I did.” he said as he did his best to return her smile.

“One must concede defeat with grace, maintaining dignity until the very end, as a queen should...” said Hifumi with pride in her voice only for her face to shift back to a sad expression, “But, I confess I am confused....I mean, naturally I am disappointed that I lost...”

“But I still feel happy...as if a demon has been purged from me.” Hifumi said as she smiled once again, “The moment I realized that victory was impossible...I felt a strange peace.”

Hifumi looked up to the ceiling as if she were looking through it to the starry sky above, “What’s important is what I do from this point on...”

Now facing Akira and her expression neutral, Hifumi continued, “I played so disgracefully in front of you....perhaps you can just view it as an example of what not to do...” her smile then returned “....and understand that there are times which require one to forfeit with valor and grace.”

All Akira could do was smile at Hifumi and in that moment he felt no pain at all....but only for a moment as Hifumi turned to him with a dejected look.

“Um, I’ve been thinking about this for a while...”

Akira tried his best to compose himself, “A-About what?”

“Let’s make today your last lesson...”

Akira froze as he felt his heart rip in two, “...Huh?”

“Spending time with me has only brought you pain...” Hifumi gripped the edges of her skirt, “I don’t imagine you’d want someone like that around you...”

Akira felt num, “I-I see...”

The fact she was unaware of the double meaning to what she said was so laughable to Akira, he found it so hilarious he could laugh so why did he only feel like sobbing? Was it because of the massive pain in his chest? He couldn’t even bring himself to acknowledge it he felt so num and lost.

Hifumi looked around the lobby, “It seems the next match is going to start soon so there’s no need for us to stay...” she looked back at Akira, “If you don’t mind, could we walk to the station together one last time?”

As if on autopilot Akira just responded with a shaky nod as they rose from their chairs, exited the building, and began to walk towards the nearest station.

As they walked down the street, a cold October breeze blew passed them, Hifumi rubbed her arms as she shivered and Akira didn’t even move, he didn’t even know if he could feel it, if he could feel anything anymore...

As they continued to walk Akira’s pace got slower and slower until he eventually stopped, Hifumi took notice and stopped as well, turning to him.

“Are you ok Akira-kun?”

Akira didn’t say anything as he stared at the ground.

Hifumi walked closer, her worry growing, “A-Akira-kun?”

Without saying a word or moving his head Akira looked up at her and the worry on her face made the agony in his chest increase as he immediately looked back down.

‘She told you about the change of heart right? If she’s ok with talking about it why don’t you ask her?’ Morgana’s words of advice from earlier echoed in his head.

He’d do it if he weren’t so scarred, so _terrified_ , of whatever the hell was happening to him.

The pain he felt every time he looked at her or even just thought of her was awful, the coughing fits, the fucking _petals_ he was coughing or sometimes even puking up.

He felt like he was going to die.

“Akira-kun please tell me what’s wrong, you look pale...”

Akira stood there for a few more seconds before lifting his end up but avoiding eye contact with her, “I-Is um- is e-everything alright with your M-Mom?” he asked in a low, nervous voice.

“Huh? Y-Yes I already told you her heart seemed to get changed, but what does that-”

“I-Is she less strict?” he asked, speaking up slightly.

“...Yes but Akira-kun are you-”

“Does that i-include-” he finally looked her in the eyes and he froze, a small lump formed in his throat that he desperately tried to swallow, he coughed violently into one hand and before she could some closer he signal Hifumi to stop with the other.

When he was done and had composed himself he peeked inside and say the same petals as usual, tears began to roll down his face and his mouth tasted like blood.

He locked eyes with Hifumi once again, her face filled with nothing but concern but she didn’t say a word.

“D-Does that include your b-ban on...d-dating?”

“Y-Yes it does but wh-” Hifumi went quiet and her eyes widened as she realized what he was saying, she just stared at Akira.

“I-I see...” Akira whispered as he looked at the grown once again.

“Akira-kun....do you-” Hifumi stopped almost as if she were trying to find the right words, “...Do you like me?”

The thought of finally telling her made him nauseous, made him feel like he was going to die but she already didn’t want him around anymore and thanks to him asking about the ban she already knew so he might as well.

If she rejects him and whatever is going on with his body kills him because of it....he won’t care, he’s too tired to care...

“....Yes...” he said in a shaky and low voice.

Hifumi’s face turned red as she continued to stare at the black-haired boy.

“I r-really really l-love you...” he continued, his voice a little higher this time but still shaking, “...But you d-don’t want to be a-around me anymore s-so I understand it you d-don’t feel the same way and I-I’m....I’m s-sorry...” half way through talking he began to cry, he was crying so hard he could barely see in front of him, his heart was beating incredibly fast and each beat sent a sharp pain throughout his body like he was being stabbed repeatedly, a large lump grew in his throat that made it hard to breathe, he internally begged that whatever was going on with his body would just fucking kill him already.

As he stood there and sobbed he could see Hifumi moving through his tears but due to the abundance of them, he couldn’t tell what she was doing, he wanted to ask but he couldn’t bring himself to speak anymore.

Suddenly he felt her cold hands on his face and before he knew it his head was pulled down to her level and he could feel her warm lips meet his.

After a few minutes she removed her lips but still held Akira’s face close to hers as the two stared at each other, Hifumi was teary-eyed and had a serious look on her face, Akira was wide eyed and red faced as he stared back at her, his face stained with tears.

“I....really love you too...” Hifumi whispered.

Akira felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up as all the pain he felt seemingly vanished...only for it to return as he imminently went into another coughing fit, he went down to his knees coughing violently, Hifumi repeatedly asking if he’s ok with concern on her face and in her voice, he hacks into his hand, composes himself, and peeks into it to find two flower heads, a Forget-me-not and a Yellow Tulip.

“Are you ok Akira-kun?” Hifumi asks again with calm concern now that Akira has seemingly calmed down.

Akira chuckles to himself, smiles as he crushes the flowers in his hand, throws them into the street beside them, and practically leaps up to her, wrapping her in a tight hug.

Hifumi froze, her hands hung in the air close to his body as if she didn’t know what to do with them but after a minute she wrapped them around him just as tight and buried her face in his shoulder.

“I love you.” he whispered.

“I love you too.” she whispered back.


End file.
